I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
