it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
