All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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