So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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