he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
