Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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