so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
