Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
