I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We just shotgunned beers for America
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
