I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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