Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
