i love accidental penises.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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