I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Bring me that man meat
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
