I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The ass gains better be worth it
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