I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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