I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
How naked do you want me to be?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
