Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
