I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
