Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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