I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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