How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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