Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
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