..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
