I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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