I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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