Can Purell be used as lube?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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