discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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