he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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