Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
