True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
