she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
