walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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