Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
