hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she pinky promised me she was 18
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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