...so i touched it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
