He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
