I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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