You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
