So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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