you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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