I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
