everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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