I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
