neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
