I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
This girl is more easily done than said...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
