I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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