I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
