Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
A+ Viking dick
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
