There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
