And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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