Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
